“Vil du have havregryn, havregrød, havrefras, ristet rugbrød eller youghurt?” Valget faldt på havregrød, og pigen på 5 år fik det serveret. Efter et par bidder: “Nej, jeg vil altså hellere have havrefras i dag“. “Okay lille skat“. Og sådan kom pigen ofte igennem en stor del af morgenmadsrepertoiret.
En mor og far har fortalt mig om deres morgener. Det var blevet en vane – ligesom det var blevet en vane, at når mor tegnede med pigen, så skete der ofte dette: “Mor, din sommerfugl er pænere end min.” “Jamen, vi bytter bare tegning lille skat“. “Mor, nu er dit hus pænere end mit.” “Jamen, vi bytter bare tegning lille skat“. Pigen endte ofte med at græde i frustration over ikke at vide, hvilken tegning hun til sidst skulle vælge, for begge papirer var nu fyldt med morens og hendes egne streger.
Da forældrene satte ord på nogle af hverdagens udfordringer, kunne de godt selv se det komiske i situationerne. Men de havde ikke tænkt over det, mens hverdagen rullede afsted.
Vores børn bliver så frustrerede over de mange valgmuligheder, vi i den bedste mening giver dem. De kan få de vildeste hysteriske anfald, som er skrig efter enkelhed og overskuelighed. Vi må som voksne tage ansvar for at gøre deres verden enkel og overskuelig. Og måske kommer der et højt skrig, når vi siger (uden bebrejdelse i stemmen) at havregrød altså er det, der er. Men tror mig, skriget bliver på sigt højere, hvis de mange muligheders sluser lukkes op.
Jeg skriver for at give dig, der er forælder, inspiration og redskaber til at få mere glæde og overskud i hverdagen. Så du lettere får øje på alt det fine, dit barn rummer.
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